I am finally performing the tedious task of deleting my myspace. I wanted to make sure that I had all my photos backed up so I spent a good hour getting them all. Then I remembered my myspace blog. I used to update frequently with dreams and I would use it to air out any issues I was having. Its weird how both specific and cryptic I was with some of these posts- and for that reason I have omitted quite a few things that are a little too personal for a public blog. Well its been fun reading some of these, especially the dreams. its amazing how much I have forgotten. I tried to put these in order best I can but who knows how that turned out- and honestly I am too tired to be picky. I think its funny how optimistic about college and life in general. what an idiot I was, just as green as the freshman at 'almost anything goes'. hahaha...
 | Current mood:  boredman... I am so friggen bored. I cant wait until college starts so that I will have a ton of homework to worry about, instead of having all this free time to sit around and check my myspace every three minutes. On the bright side, work begins tomorrow, the new HP movie is out Thursday, and the book will be out in like 11 days. life is pretty damn boring, just waiting for things to happen. I hate TV and Myspace; they just get lamer by the day; and yet the amount of time I spend with both still remain unchanging. All I can do now, is check up on my AU status every so often, and wait for something to happen. I am so sick of waiting for stuff. I should be more patient i guess. |
| Current mood:  blah Instruction Manual for my niece, Ema. While my sister is in Tennessee we're taking care of her starting last night. Tonight she goes to her grandpas, and then tomorrow to her other grandmas, then back here, and then MAYBE by then Linzi will be back. We call it 'Kid-Cycling' In other News, Twiggy needs to be trained. She is learning that by growling she can get her way, and that is not cool. I really believe that she intends to control my family, and that is also not cool.  "Twiggy slowly looked up at her master, the lines of shame now etched upon her face, and knew that she had crossed the line when she pooped on the carpet."
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| have you noticed? |
| I have been very tired the last couple of weeks. My work schedule is all crazy ( i never know what time i will be done.. i hate that- its usually 11:30 or 1am).. like last night i was there from 5 to 11:30 (got done early- it was slow)- and today I go from 8:30 to like 3:30 or something- i dunno.. I love working for target- but I have to say- I like school so much better... not because 'work is hard blah blah'- work is actually a lot easier than school- but at school I can make plans and I know exactly when I will be in class. Also- school gives me an oppurtunity (where the F is my automatic spell check? Its too early to be spelling properly)... to be a little bit creative. Like at MVA I had English, bells, and yearbook. Yearbook was a great outlet for me- when I worked on it not only did I feel like I got something done, but in a way I felt like I was getting things out and letting things go- sort of cleaning up my mind. Now, I love work- great place to work- good co-workers- but I cant help but feel like something is just missing there. I suppose thats just the way I have always been- things like normal homework (like math for example) always just seemed like a bunch of extra stuff. Anyways.. If i dont get going now, i'm gonna be late.. well lataz ppl... |
[27 Jul 2007 | Friday]
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| Current mood:  artisticbut dont we all? So, over the past few weeks (well, I guess that I should have known this all along) I have realized that I get bored- not bored as in , 'man.. this class is boring... let me just fall asleep on my desk and drool in front of all of my friends'. What happens, is that I will get into something for a period of time, but i wont commit to it. A few years ago (as some of you may recall) I spent the summer here in FL and I made some cute bags. The one I brought to school and used as a book bag/purse was kinda popular- It was a reversible sling with big, pink flowers on it. I had people ask me many times to make one for them, but I think I only actually promised one to Caroline. obviously, Cari never got the bag. Its not that i got 'bored'- I just lost interest and didnt have much time. I keep thinking, 'i need to make some more of those!'.. but of course, I never did. Another summer my family and I made jewelry. From my mom's salon, we sold earrings, bracelets, necklaces (etc.)- and people really liked them. When I got back to school, I had made some for Heather D's B-day. i promised to make them for other people, such as heather M, her mom, even charissa (or did I give her some???).. anyways.. Im blowing it with stuff like that. I got really interested in photojournalism- but then I got sick of actually writing. This summer I did a few graphic design projects, but now im slacking on that too. Oh- i did It with guitar, too! I still play sometimes, but not much recently. (well, i did forget it in Ohio!). anyways- its a real problem. I love making stuff and being creative and all, but after a while I want to move on to something else. Sometimes I wish that I would stick to something and get really good of it. And I know this is lame, but the only thing i never got sick of was bells. Sure, there were a few (and I mean very few!) times where i didnt feel like playing. I do like Piano too- but its not like I actually play. I play Piano not to get good, but to relax.. you know, chill. Thats why I used to play in the worship room at MVA when no one else was really around. I guess you could say that its a bit of an outlet... okay well this make no sense. <3>
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| Current mood:  excitedthings are going pretty good... I just finished watching Les Miserables (its a good story!) I'm gonna read the book next- I need something to read now that HP is done. So, looks like I will be going to Andrews in a few weeks!! excting, huh? I will have to go back up north pretty soon, then, because I'm far behind on registration. Gotta do a financial plan (right now looks like I get 4,000 from AU, 4,000 from the gov, and maybe another few K from AU Financial aid.), I need to get loans (quick!) get dorm stuff figured out, register for classes, get a TB shot (noo!!!!!!!), and all that crap. on top of that, I have to wrap things up here in FL quickly- meaning I have to leave target (  ), practically move all my crap back to Ohio, and use the little money I have to get a ticket back into Toledo. Right now, Mom is looking at jobs at a couple of the colleges here- Like Art Institute. AI has schools in NYC- meaning there is a possibility of moving there! lol.. that would be a new change! anyways... I love FL, but other than my family here im not too attached yet- going to AU is going to be fun- living on campus again, chillin in the dorm- and maybe studying abroad. ok well i forgot what i was gonna write about besides that... so.. bye!
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| Current mood:  tiredI had very high expectations for today, and It turned out to be the crappiest day I have had in a long time- a perfect ending to a bad week. I hope that this is the last time that someone sends me like that. It probably will be because I dont think I will expect anything from anyone for a while.
*all I ask is that you leave me with my dignity*
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| Current mood:  sorenot being emo I promise!!
so yesterday i did Turbo Jam (CP 3 mind you...) thinking, 'yay! I excercized finally!'- and knowin full well that I would be sore the next day until I have been doing it consistantly. On top of that, I decided to take a nap after work and ended up falling off my bed- which happens to be the top bunk. Because I took that nap, I ended up missing dinner. After the gallery opening, we went to Niles to see a movie, and I was thinking, 'hey! let me just buy some food on the way bck!'.. but no... I lost my wallet with my ID for school as well as my debit card. Bad day? I believe so. On top of that I have a huge Civ test, which I was going to cram for last night (memorize dates and such), but I wasnt feeling too well so i went straight to bed. Tuesday I have a photo project due and I havent even began shooting- and I also need to turn some other things for my book. So this morning, I am unprepared, sore from two different things, hungry, ID-less, and I still dont have a laptop for school. I cant even write very well because I am in so much pain that it is disabling me from being all proper. and stuff. |
| SO i woke up this morning and the first thing I remembered was the whack dream I had, where I was working in some radio station.. I dont know what the freak I was doing though. Corbin Bleu (yes, the black guy from High School Musical.. man I gotta stop watching the DIsney Channel...) was the Radio's DJ. At the end of the evening, he went home and I stayed behind to put the bands' crap away. When I was moving the stuff, Cesar Millan, The Dog Whisperer came in and was like, 'give me a beat' and for some reason i was like.. 'Uh, I dont play the bass guitar...' and he was like, 'well then play something on the piano!' and I was like, 'uh... i dont really play.. what do you want me to play?' and he was like, 'Hmm.... play a story.. yes.. and English story for miss Keira Knightley' so naturally I played the piano part of Apologize and he loved it. for some reason we both thought it was the soundtrack fom Pride and Prejudice...
what could this mean? lol... only time will tell
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| so Frank already got me but now i got like.. all of you, so yeah.. anyways I had this dream last night where Heather M and I were with some group... we were on a team or something.. anyways we were all traveling through different countries and stuff, and the CIA was chasing us. our method of transportation? 'hot air balloons' aka one helium balloon for each 'team' and a mosquito net attached to it that we were supposed to hang on to. anyways..We spent an evening at MVA, where Justin Timberlake was to perform after Lenny Kravitz and Hannah Montana.. I also remember being in Mecca, which looked a lot like Morocco. So, from mecca (the center of Islam) we went across this golden bridge to Medina, which is the holiest city in the Islam religion and the burial place of Mohammad. Once we were in Medina, I guess we were safe because we were now actually in South America, and Argentina was nearby. So, anyone who has passed the third grade knows that that is geographically incorrect, but hey, what can ya do... I actually questioned that in my dream.. i was like, 'uh, heather? this isn't right.. how the freak did we get to a whole other continent?' but no one answered me. Then I was in some room trying to exorcise this woman and her daughter. Now I am no priest, but I did pretty good getting that demon out of the mother. The daughter didn't work though, because apparently I didn't have enough faith or something. it was scary. My night ended when I dreamed that I went into my brother's room to see a painting I made (of Nathan Shinn?!??!) completely painted over with a primitive version (that I made when I was like 5...) stapled over it. I went down the stairs and tried to yell at my mom, but of course, no one heard me... its really hard for me to speak in my dreams. well there you go. my first dreams of 2008, completely random? I think not. I was watching the Bourne Ultimatum and some New Years Eve bash that featured JT, Lenny Kravitz, and Miley Cyrus. I dont really know where the exorcism crap came from though... I think i was looking at a movie cover or something... |
| Last night I dreamed that the 6pack (that go to andrews) went to the wonderland movie theatre in Niles, and for some reason they sent us all to this wierd, almost empty theatre.. and on my way in someone who worked there was trying to mess with me..for some reason I was wearing socks and pink flip flops, and i was carrying my laptop in like a brief case. Who does that? anyways.. I asked Sarah to take my computer into the theatre so I didnt drop it while I got the guy off of my feet. Soon, more and more 07 grads came in.. I guess there was some kind of suprise reunion thing going on.. I was looking for Jessica the whole time though but I couldnt find her. I went into the other theatres to see what was going on, and I found Mr. Myers and Kyle B- they were in there to make sure no one went to the wrong room.. I remember thinking, 'Oh Good! now Myers can put some software on my computer!' and I was like, 'hey guys!' and they waved back.. Then mr. myers was like, 'you should be taking pictures', so he gave me this camera with a huge telephoto lens... but i did not take any pictures. I was so confused, so I went back to Lamson Hall but I couldnt find anyone so I went to the front desk, which was actually the front dest of Linden Hall. Mrs. Shafer was down there with that box of rags and she was like giving them to her workers and stuff. Princess was monitering phones so I asked her what was going on and she didnt know. I wanted to make an all call, but for some reason I didnt ask mrs. shafer because I didnt think that she would let me. After that I went directly to April and Kendree's room (they dont even go to AU lol) and when I got there everyone was leaving to go take a shower- they were like, 'there you are! go get ready!'... apparantly we were all gonna go get pretty and go to St. Joseph- which is actually a much cooler place in my dreams than in real life. On my way to my room to take a shower, i ended up walking with my boss and some kid i dont know.. and then I was like, 'crap! I gotta work!' so I kept walking with her to work and then I fell into a lake (I know, Random...) and for some reason it was really salty. i couldnt get out because the sand was like quick sand and the more i tried to climb out the more i sunk back in. So I kept asking my boss how to get out- i was like, 'I never swim in lakes! only the ocean!!! Are you sure there are no fish or anything in here?' and she was like, 'no, dont worry'. So as She tried to help me climb out, I was trying to ask her for the afternoon off but she kept cutting me off, and she wouldnt let me climb out all the way- she was like doing all this crap and i was like, 'uh... just let me get out...' and then she was giving me some hot chocolate that she like put some saltwater in.. shes was like, 'you need to get the taste out' and I was like, 'What?!?!?!?' so I backed into a corner (like in the pool when I was little) and pulled myself out. and then there was something about this playground at AU being gone and I was thinking 'awwww man, i bet the photo students are going to miss that..' |
| So I dreamed soemthing about having the family over, And Tia Maggie was making her quesadillas and I was like 'yay! yummy!'.. an after that scene vic and I were at some guys house.. i dont know whow he was, my moms friend or something? but in my moms dream i seemed to know him pretty well. Me and vic were in the bathroom for some reason.. like doing our har or something but vic kept messing around and i was getting mad at him. After that we went into the living room, and the guy had bought 'RockStar', which I thought was Rock Band but actually the generic version. he didnt know what it was- how to play or set it up, so Vic and I did it. man was that boring?? the drums (my fav part of the game) was like one pad and i had to hit it over and over again... just hitting the pad. it didnt even sound right. and the game itself was totally lame- like there were these little monsters in it that looked like those cavity monsters you see in posters at the dentists office. I finally gave up and i was playing it off like i was trying to be polite.. I was like, 'uh... matthew can play... ' Matt was there too btw- vics friend. he had taken the train from his house to mine, which is kinda stupid because he only lives a few miles away. thats all i really remember... nothing special tonight... OH yeah Owen Wilson made an appearance.. like the guy whose house we were at was hosting some awards party.. and Owen came in looking like Hansel from Zoolander, and he apologized for something. i dont know what was up, but i remember the guy being embarrassed or something.
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| Current mood:  awakebecause this one was WHACK!! So I dreamed that I was at Andrews (i think??? looked like MVA) and down where the ABC was in MV was this huge building- it was like an elementary school or something. A bunch of us (like my whole senior class) went down to sneak in because we were bored. We ended up sneaking into my brother’s reading class. We all sat down and acted like we were students but everyone soon fell asleep. I sat next to vic and he kept falling asleep so i kept waking him up. I guess i must’ve dozed off because when i looked, my class had left me- all my friends were gone! jerks.. anyways.. after class was out me, vic, and some guy i dont remember who he was, we all ran into Prof. Markovic- my Civ teacher. I think he was bored (this was Spring break u know) so he invited us all to his house- he wanted to show up something really cool but we werent allowd to tell anyone about it. It was this huge hanging tapestry or something- like scarlet with gold symbols and designs on it. It hung behind like 5 layers of curtain. He told us something about it being from the fourth century, and that it had some kind of power- like it was blessed or something. Like you touch it and wish for something and it comes true. Like a birthday wish, we werent supposed to tell anyone what we wished for- so just to be safe i wont say what I wished for lol. Thats all i really remember- there was a little bit more, but its too vague. okay well there it is. Random I know! |
| it seems like sometimes when I look back on things in my life.. you know, embarrassing moments, sad moments, scary moments, good/funny moments, its like im watching myself in a movie.. you know, in third person. I just realized that.. am I the only one who does this |
| so i had another whack dream, that I was out with my family here in Tampa eating at clearwater beach (near the pier) after a day of flea marketing, and as we were leaving I saw Heather D just chillin in one of the booths, waiting for Tim and a couple of his friends to come back. I was like, 'Omg, heather! what are you doing here?' like she said something but i dont remember what it was.. and we were talking for a minute and then I was like 'heather, you STILL haven't told my why you're here!' and like, all I know is that she told me that she had already been there three days. I was SOO freakin pissed that she didnt call me. I was like, 'were you EVER going to call me or tell me you were here?' she kept changing the subject and I was like, 'whatever. I'm going home but im still pissed you didn't call me..' and thats all i remember. so yeah if any you guys come into tampa and dont call me, i WILL take it personally and never talk to you again. today i am going to get a job. i cant be in here anymore these people are driving me completely insane. p.s. im not really listening to the jo bros. that would be heather d, who actually likes lame music like '7 things' and that NKOTB song.
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| so I had this whack dream last night. I was still at Andrews (for some reason) and my Dad was in the Dominican Republic so I had the car even though I dont have a license. Tiff, Heather D, Heather M, Sarah and I wanted to go somewhere- I dont really know where, but me and Heather M were driving (2 seperate cars). I pulled into a McDonalds and was like, 'so do you guys wanna eat here? or do you want to go to Niles and find a random place downtown?' (the last day i was at AU we went to this random, fantastic mexican place in Niles...).. everyone was all for it but when I was about to leave Heather D and Sarah came up to my car and were like, 'um Heather M left... she went somewhere to study'.. and I was like, 'uh... okay... just cram in the back..'.. though I dont know why we had to cram seeing as my dads car seats 4 passengers and there were only 5 of us all.. no reason to take another car... but anyways... for some reason that messed up our plans and I was alittle lost.. I realized too that the gas light was on and i was trying to find some cheap gas somewhere but all the prices were like $6.80, and a couple didnt have prices posted because they were changing the numbers on the signs. I was angry, but not surprised. haha when I woke up all I could think of was 'Is gas REALLY $6.80 a gallon?'.. it made $4.09 look desirable. I had a white bike too... and I had to stop at AU (which was actually MVA) where I had to get my bike, drawing portfolio, drawing tablet, canvas pad, and roll of posters. I had to somehow get them into my trunk (dont know why it wouldnt fit) anyways... somehow I had to keep reminding myself that I had already finished at andrews- that my room was packed up and all ready at home... and then I was thinking that I should go pick victor up from MVA but then I was like 'no thats so stupid you're already in Florida'... like wtf? why are my dreams so retarded sometimes? lol. Ok there was another weird one For some reason I were at a port.. reminded me of a flea market, port canaveral, and Miami... there were bridges... and ocean... and cool tall buildings... gosh I wish I had a picture of it.. I was never good at describing with words... but it was really really cool.. and amazing... and nice... and pretty.. like we were up in the air.. and I got to explore and all.. reminds me of those nice clubs and rooms on a cruise except NOT tacky with plastic crystal centerpieces and all... it was all real.oh yeah I had a job there somewhere too... like I was going to start... (see im just remembering pieces of it).. well it was cool... VERY cool ok one more and there was another one... It was like, me, some random guy in his 30s (dont know who he was but for some reason he was supposed to protect me and this other person..) and this 'other person'.. I dont remember if it was my brother victor or a random little girl.. mmaybe it switched or something i dont know.. it was just very weird. anyways we were once again using my dads car and we were like trapped in China. yeah. weird. this might have actually led into my miami/port canaveral/flea market dream.. anyways we were stuck in china and we were making this plan to get out... like the guy was doing all the planning.. swear it was the guy from Back to the Future.. what was his name? you know, 'Marty'? i dont remember his real name.. anyways he reminded me of him..... our plan was to launch the car over the great wall... like fly over the border. we tried a few times but didnt make it- we just kept driving along the wall. Finally we tried one more time- driving off a building actually- and as we were flying off, the car somehow separated itself from us, and we went flying over a bunch of water (ocean) and thats when I saw the port. 'Marty' landed on a building.. on his feet of course, and I landed in the water, close to the port and near a ladder. Very convenient. anyways this is all very random but i had to get it down before I forgot. even as I write all this i am remembering dreams I had before- like something to do with an Airplane and trying to fly it... or driving a car through K-Mart... later bri |
| fdfrgcb |
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