IM SOOO BORED

what the hell has happened to my social life?

I dont like staying in... at all. I like to go out. I like to get dressed up and go out to eat. I like being the 'loud' table- the one with all the college kids flashing their cameras and laughing at the most ridiculous and immature jokes.I am pretty sure that this is like my 100th weekend staying in. I used to like to do things on my own but not so much anymore. My independence is starting to get realllly boring.

Isn't there anyone out there who wants to go out some time? Seriously. ANYTHING. We could go to Papa Vinos. Or we could see what is going on at the Performing Arts Center in South Bend. Even if we just catch a movie at wonderland. I. DONT. CARE.

Just get me out into the world again...

just... so... lonely...

lol

Will I Ever Feel Like That Again?

So a couple of weeks ago- on Thanksgiving day I was battling holiday traffic on my way to Chicago for Thanksgiving dinner. Thanks to construction on 94 I was stuck in single lane traffic for a little less than an hour. While flipping through the Chicago radio stations I flipped past something that felt so familiar. I hesitated and finally flipped back to that station. I listened to the familiar song once more, realizing that it was the first time I had heard it since I was in high school- or maybe since Shay's funeral... I couldn't remember which. Either way there is something about this song that makes me feel so... complete? I know that sounds like a total cliche lol.. but I know no other way to describe it. It feels like home to me. It feels like I have a family- like every Friday night when that song was played at vespers- those people around you- those adolescent, spoiled, ill-tempered and annoying academy students became your family. I haven't felt that way in a long time, and I will easily tell you that I ache for it.

College is like six flags at the end of the season. You count the days until you get there. You imagine all the rides, shows- all of the fun you are about to have. The day comes when you can finally go and its overcast. No big deal, you didn't want a sunburn anyway... so you make the most of it, right? You get on the first few rides and have a total blast. By 10am you realize that you have been on every ride so you go to check out the shows. By noon you have seen everything and by 3pm all of your close friends have gone home early. Determined to get your money's worth you remain. You sit there, freezing in your shorts, tanktop and sunglasses. You begin to remember Cedar Point in May. The warm sun bouncing off lake Erie, your best friends on either side of you screaming their heads off on the Wicked Twister... what could ever amount to that feeling? So you make the most of Six Flags. You repeat the rides and enjoy as many pointless games and shows as you can. Fake it till you make it right?

Well after three years dont you think I ought to have made it by now? I mean I dont hate it here, I like it, but I dont LOVE it like I LOVED Academy. Am I supposed to love college that much? Was I supposed to even like High School?

Im not trying to be a downer tonight- im just really tired. It's been a rough day- I have been very sick and unable to study or enjoy hulu. I am just praying I dont have Swine flu. My point is... I have made the mistake of listening to this song again tonight. It is bittersweet. I have let go of High School and tried to embrace college but it doesn't seem to be working. I feel empty, meaningless and almost even corporate. My work is suffering too. I feel like so much of it is lacking soul..

I liked it before, you know? but now I am tired of being 'independent'. I am tired of constantly only having myself to really rely on. Granted, I do have family here, but its not the same. I feel like nothing will ever compare to the friends I had in High School. And the sad thing? All of us will never be together again. Even with my closest friends I have to spend time with them separately because so many of them hate each other now. I wish we could all get along like we used to in middle school... I wish I could bake a cake filled with rainbows and smiles and everyone would eat and be happy!! I just have a lot of feelings... lol..

dang. I totally went off subject.

Bottom line- I really miss MVA. I miss the feeling of 'Togetherness'... I miss feeling God, I miss being a part of something. Without that I feel lost.

(real bottom line= pms/having a cold/finals week is really getting to me now)

oh and this is the song that started it all:

whoa!

what happened to blogging?!?! I have totalllllly ghosted the last, what, 2 months?
well much has happened and much is happening, but I won bore anyone with all of that. Many ups and downs but mostly ups, and I think its safe to say that its been a pretty good semester. for the first time I am actually happy at Andrews. I knew I just needed a little time, maybe some perspective, whatever. oh geesh, I am such a boring writer sometimes. "Cliche, cliche, cliche, handbells, cliche, cliche, cliche, photography, cliche about art in general, cliche." That is like my standard writing format. sometimes. The weather has been pretty wonderful here in Michigan but somehow I am anticipating a super massive storm. Probably because I watched 'The Storm Of the Century" on Nat Geo the other day. Seriously, you guys. It could happen at any time!

Today the most ridiculous thing happened. Well, I guess I will start with last night.
So last night B and I camped out in Harrigan while I worked on my book for Mixed Media. It was nice to have someone to talk to while I had to do that- especially since the charger for my laptop is broken (oh and cell phone is off!) so communication has been minimal. Its incredible how much I disappear without constant access to my phone and internet! Its actually pretty ridiculous, and not very healthy. I suppose it has been nice to take a break from it all, but I could really use my phone. My car has been giving me trouble lately and it would be nice to be able to chat with my Ohio Homies once in a while.
but I digress.
So Last night I was up until about 1:30 on campus, just workin' on my book. I went home when we were all tired and decided that it was 'good enough' and I would bind it in the morning. When I got home though, I was just NOT tired... at all. So I was up until about 5 adding and modifying the book. I am really happy with the cover I did and the collage on the inside- products of random bursts of inspiration- but I wish I had that when I began the book. Its not very consistent as far as color and design go, but I did my best to make it work. I still have to finish binding it but I have a while before my next class. Soooo, yeah, I got two and a half hours of sleep last night. Not good. I am in better condition than expected, but rest assured I will be knocked out by 3pm- wherever I am.
Right- so I stumbled into Spanish class today looking a hot mess (at least I had managed to brush my teeth this morning) and El Profe (my teacher, heh) was out in the hall about to close the door. "¡Hola Briana!" he smiled at me.
"¡Hola!" I replied with the little enthusiasm that I can muster on two and a half hours of sleep.
"¿Estás Listo para el Examen?" He said to me..
"Whaaaa????" I said suspiciously. He was tricking me! He had to be! Oh, he was hilarious. "Nooooo...." I smiled, wagging my finger.
"Ahhh, ¡Bueno!"- oh yeah he was just testing me! oh, my teachers are hilarious I tell you.

okay so I get into class and settle into my seat next to Ashley and Im like, 'Yo! Ash! we dont have a test, right?"
"ummm... yes?"
EFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

so yeah, a test over chaper 5, which I would have done well on had I at least reviewed a little bit. But now I am pretty sure I failed. I didn't get to 2 of the 5 sections. I couldn't remember ANYTHING. There was a whole paragraph of what Ramón should do in Hollywood and all I could say was "Ramón debe cambiar su nombre". yeah. BRILLIANT.


soooo thats the EPIC FAIL of the semester... so far...

oh did I mention BFA reviews are coming up super fast? Every time I see Mason he's like "We talk about you a lot" and im like gee, thanks, no pressure though, right?

oh also, May I solicit your prayers? I am trying to decide what I am going to do with my life. Photo will always be my major- I never want to change that- but I really need to decide what I am going to do with English. I love LOVE writing (though I dont always show it) but I just cant give it the attention it deserves. I am most passionate about art and photography and I cant see that changing anytime soon. True, its possible to be passionate about many things at once, but I think I would explode if I tried to do that. Plus- both of these majors require a lot of time and energy and I just dont know if I can handle it.

wow this post is just...
TOO LONG. DID NOT READ.

TO DO LIST

helllllooo!

Well the weather sucks today, but I wont let that get me down because I totally got an A- on my last spanish test. The one I was positive that I had failed. When I got the test I thought that there MUST be some kind of mistake... Ashley told me not to question the gods, so I went along with it.

I will admit, yesterday was a really bad day. I was in a place I never wanted to be again. I did something different to snap out of it this time, and if I ever get stuck there again I know exactly what to do. Other than that, this week is a week like any other. Well, except that I might drive up to St. Paul on Friday when Mom is planning on flying up. My Grandpa is not doing great at all and I would like to see him even though I am pretty sure that I have only met him once in my life.

I am going to start working on my to-do list with 'eating' because I havent had anything all day and then I am going shooting. Rainy Days are a good opportunity for color contrast.

soo im not sure if you can tell (this being m third post today) but i am hving a really, really bad day.

i feel really sick right now. I dont know if it is from stress, being out in chicago on a kinda rainy day or a combination of the two, but I feel so sick right now. I dont want to move. I dont want to eat. I just want to lay here and hope it goes away. the last week has been kind of crappy and I feel like I really need a break... I wish I could just go home some weekend or something. Its like no matter how hard I fight the war is never going to be over. Fighting some evil villian who threatens to blow up new york city? Taking down the giant lizard terrorizing Tokyo? I wish saving the world were that easy. Instead we fight ourselves and eachother. We try to fight disease and hunger- we try to fix things our own way. The sad truth is that the world is always going to need saving. Each of us are always going to need saving.

just a thought. I wont be finishing this because I have to concentrate on not throwing up.

ughhh I HATE MONDAYSSSS

supppp

not to be all melencholy all the time, but the weather sucks today, as does my life. Im just sayin...

Last night I had all sorts of weird/scary dreams and I am pretty sure that has something to do with the fact that I have been watching Heroes so much the last few days. Its pretty much the best show on TV and I cant believe I never watched it before. It makes Grey's and Gossip Girl seem totally useless and stupid now. Who is saving the world in Gossip Girl?!?! exactly.

anyways it is now 7:42. I have class at 8:30 (meaning I have to leave by 8:10) and I havent done ANYTHING to get ready except for grabbing a towel and making turkey bacon. I was supposed to take a shower like 20 minutes ago but I have just been sitting on the couch as if I cant come to terms with the idea that it is, in fact, monday again.

save me

Today kinda sucks. i just want to put that out there.

here is why today sucks

Yesterday sucked. I missed my spanish test because my stupid phone is a crappy alarm clock (I really am starting to think something is wrong with it) and of course that threw my entire day off. So today I have a mixed media project due. I had some ideas that I have been mulling over ever since it was assigned but nothing has formed into anything solid yet. I spent the last week and a half cutting out random stuff that I thought was interesting, hoping for some brilliant flash of inspiration, but it never came. I am officially in a rut. hopefully just for today..

So anyways last night I was in the studio until about 11 when I realized that nothing was happening, so I gathered all my stuff and went home to work on the projects. I was up until 6am trying to pull something off but it didn't happen. Yes, I made a couple of things that meet the guidelines, but they are total crap. Totally empty... totally uninspired.

I set my phone alarm for 7:30 and went to sleep... It didn't wake me up though. I woke up thanks to some anxiety (not wanting to miss another spanish class) around 7:50. I got ready for class (um, basically just but some jeans on, thats literally all i did to get ready this morning) and went to class. In class we played this jepoardy game, which my team lost. dont get me wrong though- it was a lot of fun, I just wish I had more energy.

After spanish I took my test that I missed yesterday. awful. Thanks to lack of sleep (and no studying since sunday night) I am pretty sure I failed. When I turned it in he was like 'that was fast!' and I mumbled something along the lines of 'got no sleep'.

I slowly walked across campus back to my car, preparing to drown myself in tears of exhaustion and frustration, but I held back the floodwaters (lol) with the perspective of stopping at mcdonalds for an egg and cheese biscuit and hash browns. Maybe today I will get some cinnamon melts too! Totally unhealthy, but if it worked when I was a little kid it would work now, right? so I ordered my crap and on the way home I listened to west side story and ate the cinnamon melts. when I got home I discovered that they forgot my hash browns. WTF. I always look foreword to my hash browns and they totally blew it. Pick-me-up FAIL. OH! and on top of that I am out of gas and almost out of money. and chicago on friday. and I have a lot of dirty laundry to do. oh, and bad hair day.

well now I am at home, I should've got coffee but all I wanna do now is get my hour and a half of sleep before mixed media. hopefully my alarm will wake me up but I doubt I will be asleep for too long.

praying that my week gets better...

Flashback

Soooo
I am finally performing the tedious task of deleting my myspace. I wanted to make sure that I had all my photos backed up so I spent a good hour getting them all. Then I remembered my myspace blog. I used to update frequently with dreams and I would use it to air out any issues I was having. Its weird how both specific and cryptic I was with some of these posts- and for that reason I have omitted quite a few things that are a little too personal for a public blog. Well its been fun reading some of these, especially the dreams. its amazing how much I have forgotten. I tried to put these in order best I can but who knows how that turned out- and honestly I am too tired to be picky. I think its funny how optimistic about college and life in general. what an idiot I was, just as green as the freshman at 'almost anything goes'. hahaha...

[10 Jul 2007 | Tuesday]

dottttttt Current mood: bored man... I am so friggen bored. I cant wait until college starts so that I will have a ton of homework to worry about, instead of having all this free time to sit around and check my myspace every three minutes. On the bright side, work begins tomorrow, the new HP movie is out Thursday, and the book will be out in like 11 days. life is pretty damn boring, just waiting for things to happen. I hate TV and Myspace; they just get lamer by the day; and yet the amount of time I spend with both still remain unchanging. All I can do now, is check up on my AU status every so often, and wait for something to happen. I am so sick of waiting for stuff. I should be more patient i guess.

[15 Jul 2007 | Sunday]

Picture of the Day Current mood: blah Instruction Manual for my niece, Ema. While my sister is in Tennessee we're taking care of her starting last night. Tonight she goes to her grandpas, and then tomorrow to her other grandmas, then back here, and then MAYBE by then Linzi will be back. We call it 'Kid-Cycling' In other News, Twiggy needs to be trained. She is learning that by growling she can get her way, and that is not cool. I really believe that she intends to control my family, and that is also not cool. "Twiggy slowly looked up at her master, the lines of shame now etched upon her face, and knew that she had crossed the line when she pooped on the carpet." Currently listening: The Very Best of Frank Sinatra By Frank Sinatra Release date: 10 June, 1997

hpotter/ pic of the day <"try href="http://bp0.blogger.com/_8DC_Ad8ZXes/RqIJUT-_qSI/AAAAAAAAAAs/emwCtkzC7dc/s1600-h/IMG_1133.jpg"> im so tired.. waiting to go get my book... I have been up since 7 ( i wanted to get to target at 8 when it opens... ) I thought mom was gonna be up with me to go get it.. but when I was done getting ready I had to spend like 10 minutes waking her up. had to turn the TV off because the final HP book is alll over the news. everyone is talking about it and I dont wanna hear it- I want to gain my own opinion of the book- not tainted or compromised in any way. I know, it sounds lame, but I am picky about my books and the way I read them. well heres a pic of the day (I guess)- kinda sucky but it would be way cooler if i had a good camera. blah blah blah i know that a $300 camera is valuable... but 6.0 mega pixels? Its perfect for family stuff- but not actual fine art or documentary photography. My sis recently got the Nikon d40x. Its light, easy to use, and takes pretty good photos! not to mention less than $800- which is good for someone like me that is going to be in college soon. (aka broke for the next 10 years). 9:36 AM 0 Comments (Add Comment) | 0 Kudos Translate Edit Remove

[21 Jul 2007 | Saturday]

THE BRITISH ARE COMING! have you noticed? 9:53 AM 1 Comments (Add Comment) | 2 Kudos Translate Edit Remove

[22 Jul 2007 | Sunday]

work and school I have been very tired the last couple of weeks. My work schedule is all crazy ( i never know what time i will be done.. i hate that- its usually 11:30 or 1am).. like last night i was there from 5 to 11:30 (got done early- it was slow)- and today I go from 8:30 to like 3:30 or something- i dunno.. I love working for target- but I have to say- I like school so much better... not because 'work is hard blah blah'- work is actually a lot easier than school- but at school I can make plans and I know exactly when I will be in class. Also- school gives me an oppurtunity (where the F is my automatic spell check? Its too early to be spelling properly)... to be a little bit creative. Like at MVA I had English, bells, and yearbook. Yearbook was a great outlet for me- when I worked on it not only did I feel like I got something done, but in a way I felt like I was getting things out and letting things go- sort of cleaning up my mind. Now, I love work- great place to work- good co-workers- but I cant help but feel like something is just missing there. I suppose thats just the way I have always been- things like normal homework (like math for example) always just seemed like a bunch of extra stuff. Anyways.. If i dont get going now, i'm gonna be late.. well lataz ppl... 7:49 AM 2 Comments (Add Comment) | 4 Kudos Translate Edit Remove

[27 Jul 2007 | Friday] work stories one day I am going to post about work. Like this one. Today while I was answering phones this man calls and asks to talk to the 'lady in charge of hiring'. Now, as some of you may have noticed, Target has a little application kiosk. There isnt much actual human interaction required. When an applicant finishes the application, the operator calls and sets up a first and second interview. Once in a while someone will call to see if we are hiring, and I will just tell them to see the kiosk. I thought this guy sounded like a moron/bum but the fact that he knew that the person who does the hiring is a woman suggested that he had already done the interviews. When I told him that she wasn't in, I heard him kind of mumbling in the background for a few seconds, and then he came back. "What was your name again?" he asks me. 'um... Briana?" (just like that, with a question mark). This is where he starts to sound like a drunken, nasty bum. 'How old are you?' he says... I wasnt sure if I should have answered that, but i told him anyways. And do you know what he said after that? DO YOU KNOW WHAT HE ASKED ME??? well I'll tell you what he said! He goes, 'are you freaky?'. What a total dick. I told him that I wasnt and then hung up on him. yeah. i TOLD him! but gosh... what a bitch. way to get a job, you douchebag. Im wondering if I should have reported that to assets protection. I mean, what if he gets hired? hopefully I will never see or hear of that loser again. well i have many other stories, but i think that will be it for now. 000000000000000oooh I got my name tag! woohoo!! Currently listening: Claude Debussy: The Composer as Pianist By Claude Debussy Release date: 26 September, 2000 11:10 PM 1 Comments (Add Comment) | 2 Kudos Translate Edit Remove

[28 Jul 2007 | Saturday]

I've got problems Current mood: artistic but dont we all? So, over the past few weeks (well, I guess that I should have known this all along) I have realized that I get bored- not bored as in , 'man.. this class is boring... let me just fall asleep on my desk and drool in front of all of my friends'. What happens, is that I will get into something for a period of time, but i wont commit to it. A few years ago (as some of you may recall) I spent the summer here in FL and I made some cute bags. The one I brought to school and used as a book bag/purse was kinda popular- It was a reversible sling with big, pink flowers on it. I had people ask me many times to make one for them, but I think I only actually promised one to Caroline. obviously, Cari never got the bag. Its not that i got 'bored'- I just lost interest and didnt have much time. I keep thinking, 'i need to make some more of those!'.. but of course, I never did. Another summer my family and I made jewelry. From my mom's salon, we sold earrings, bracelets, necklaces (etc.)- and people really liked them. When I got back to school, I had made some for Heather D's B-day. i promised to make them for other people, such as heather M, her mom, even charissa (or did I give her some???).. anyways.. Im blowing it with stuff like that. I got really interested in photojournalism- but then I got sick of actually writing. This summer I did a few graphic design projects, but now im slacking on that too. Oh- i did It with guitar, too! I still play sometimes, but not much recently. (well, i did forget it in Ohio!). anyways- its a real problem. I love making stuff and being creative and all, but after a while I want to move on to something else. Sometimes I wish that I would stick to something and get really good of it. And I know this is lame, but the only thing i never got sick of was bells. Sure, there were a few (and I mean very few!) times where i didnt feel like playing. I do like Piano too- but its not like I actually play. I play Piano not to get good, but to relax.. you know, chill. Thats why I used to play in the worship room at MVA when no one else was really around. I guess you could say that its a bit of an outlet... okay well this make no sense. <3> Currently listening: Queen - Greatest Hits By Queen Release date: 15 September, 1992

[01 Aug 2007 | Wednesday]

news Current mood: excited things are going pretty good... I just finished watching Les Miserables (its a good story!) I'm gonna read the book next- I need something to read now that HP is done. So, looks like I will be going to Andrews in a few weeks!! excting, huh? I will have to go back up north pretty soon, then, because I'm far behind on registration. Gotta do a financial plan (right now looks like I get 4,000 from AU, 4,000 from the gov, and maybe another few K from AU Financial aid.), I need to get loans (quick!) get dorm stuff figured out, register for classes, get a TB shot (noo!!!!!!!), and all that crap. on top of that, I have to wrap things up here in FL quickly- meaning I have to leave target (), practically move all my crap back to Ohio, and use the little money I have to get a ticket back into Toledo. Right now, Mom is looking at jobs at a couple of the colleges here- Like Art Institute. AI has schools in NYC- meaning there is a possibility of moving there! lol.. that would be a new change! anyways... I love FL, but other than my family here im not too attached yet- going to AU is going to be fun- living on campus again, chillin in the dorm- and maybe studying abroad. ok well i forgot what i was gonna write about besides that... so.. bye! Currently watching: Les Miserables Release date: 03 November, 1998 8:39 PM 2 Comments (Add Comment) | 4 Kudos Translate Edit Remove

[27 Oct 2007 | Saturday]

high expectations Current mood: tired I had very high expectations for today, and It turned out to be the crappiest day I have had in a long time- a perfect ending to a bad week. I hope that this is the last time that someone sends me like that. It probably will be because I dont think I will expect anything from anyone for a while. *all I ask is that you leave me with my dignity* 1:16 AM 0 Comments (Add Comment) | 0 Kudos Translate Edit Remove

[09 Nov 2007 | Friday]

falling apart Current mood: sore not being emo I promise!! so yesterday i did Turbo Jam (CP 3 mind you...) thinking, 'yay! I excercized finally!'- and knowin full well that I would be sore the next day until I have been doing it consistantly. On top of that, I decided to take a nap after work and ended up falling off my bed- which happens to be the top bunk. Because I took that nap, I ended up missing dinner. After the gallery opening, we went to Niles to see a movie, and I was thinking, 'hey! let me just buy some food on the way bck!'.. but no... I lost my wallet with my ID for school as well as my debit card. Bad day? I believe so. On top of that I have a huge Civ test, which I was going to cram for last night (memorize dates and such), but I wasnt feeling too well so i went straight to bed. Tuesday I have a photo project due and I havent even began shooting- and I also need to turn some other things for my book. So this morning, I am unprepared, sore from two different things, hungry, ID-less, and I still dont have a laptop for school. I cant even write very well because I am in so much pain that it is disabling me from being all proper. and stuff. 9:47 AM 2 Comments (Add Comment) | 2 Kudos Translate Edit Remove

[31 Dec 2007 | Monday]

Keira Knightly and the Dog Whisperer SO i woke up this morning and the first thing I remembered was the whack dream I had, where I was working in some radio station.. I dont know what the freak I was doing though. Corbin Bleu (yes, the black guy from High School Musical.. man I gotta stop watching the DIsney Channel...) was the Radio's DJ. At the end of the evening, he went home and I stayed behind to put the bands' crap away. When I was moving the stuff, Cesar Millan, The Dog Whisperer came in and was like, 'give me a beat' and for some reason i was like.. 'Uh, I dont play the bass guitar...' and he was like, 'well then play something on the piano!' and I was like, 'uh... i dont really play.. what do you want me to play?' and he was like, 'Hmm.... play a story.. yes.. and English story for miss Keira Knightley' so naturally I played the piano part of Apologize and he loved it. for some reason we both thought it was the soundtrack fom Pride and Prejudice... and yes.... I did have to look up the spelling of the names of all those Celebrities. That was my second dream of Corbin Bleu. He was actually in my Pete Wentz dream- he was hosting AU's classical music station, only it was power hour and it was being broadcasted from down my street. Pete Wentz was like, 'oh no... how did they find me here? now I have to go say something!' what could this mean? lol... only time will tell [note] well since I bothered to write this entire thing down, I might as well copy and paste it into my many blogs of wonder. I meant this bulletin to be short, just like the pete wentz dream one.. but wanted to remember the whole thing and I couldnt find a pen. 9:18 AM 1 Comments (Add Comment) | 2 Kudos Translate Edit Remove

√√[01 Jan 2008 | Tuesday]

Rabbit Rabbit... and my dream of the day lol so Frank already got me but now i got like.. all of you, so yeah.. anyways I had this dream last night where Heather M and I were with some group... we were on a team or something.. anyways we were all traveling through different countries and stuff, and the CIA was chasing us. our method of transportation? 'hot air balloons' aka one helium balloon for each 'team' and a mosquito net attached to it that we were supposed to hang on to. anyways..We spent an evening at MVA, where Justin Timberlake was to perform after Lenny Kravitz and Hannah Montana.. I also remember being in Mecca, which looked a lot like Morocco. So, from mecca (the center of Islam) we went across this golden bridge to Medina, which is the holiest city in the Islam religion and the burial place of Mohammad. Once we were in Medina, I guess we were safe because we were now actually in South America, and Argentina was nearby. So, anyone who has passed the third grade knows that that is geographically incorrect, but hey, what can ya do... I actually questioned that in my dream.. i was like, 'uh, heather? this isn't right.. how the freak did we get to a whole other continent?' but no one answered me. Then I was in some room trying to exorcise this woman and her daughter. Now I am no priest, but I did pretty good getting that demon out of the mother. The daughter didn't work though, because apparently I didn't have enough faith or something. it was scary. My night ended when I dreamed that I went into my brother's room to see a painting I made (of Nathan Shinn?!??!) completely painted over with a primitive version (that I made when I was like 5...) stapled over it. I went down the stairs and tried to yell at my mom, but of course, no one heard me... its really hard for me to speak in my dreams. well there you go. my first dreams of 2008, completely random? I think not. I was watching the Bourne Ultimatum and some New Years Eve bash that featured JT, Lenny Kravitz, and Miley Cyrus. I dont really know where the exorcism crap came from though... I think i was looking at a movie cover or something...

[02 Jan 2008 | Wednesday]

The Class of 2007 Reunites Last night I dreamed that the 6pack (that go to andrews) went to the wonderland movie theatre in Niles, and for some reason they sent us all to this wierd, almost empty theatre.. and on my way in someone who worked there was trying to mess with me..for some reason I was wearing socks and pink flip flops, and i was carrying my laptop in like a brief case. Who does that? anyways.. I asked Sarah to take my computer into the theatre so I didnt drop it while I got the guy off of my feet. Soon, more and more 07 grads came in.. I guess there was some kind of suprise reunion thing going on.. I was looking for Jessica the whole time though but I couldnt find her. I went into the other theatres to see what was going on, and I found Mr. Myers and Kyle B- they were in there to make sure no one went to the wrong room.. I remember thinking, 'Oh Good! now Myers can put some software on my computer!' and I was like, 'hey guys!' and they waved back.. Then mr. myers was like, 'you should be taking pictures', so he gave me this camera with a huge telephoto lens... but i did not take any pictures. I was so confused, so I went back to Lamson Hall but I couldnt find anyone so I went to the front desk, which was actually the front dest of Linden Hall. Mrs. Shafer was down there with that box of rags and she was like giving them to her workers and stuff. Princess was monitering phones so I asked her what was going on and she didnt know. I wanted to make an all call, but for some reason I didnt ask mrs. shafer because I didnt think that she would let me. After that I went directly to April and Kendree's room (they dont even go to AU lol) and when I got there everyone was leaving to go take a shower- they were like, 'there you are! go get ready!'... apparantly we were all gonna go get pretty and go to St. Joseph- which is actually a much cooler place in my dreams than in real life. On my way to my room to take a shower, i ended up walking with my boss and some kid i dont know.. and then I was like, 'crap! I gotta work!' so I kept walking with her to work and then I fell into a lake (I know, Random...) and for some reason it was really salty. i couldnt get out because the sand was like quick sand and the more i tried to climb out the more i sunk back in. So I kept asking my boss how to get out- i was like, 'I never swim in lakes! only the ocean!!! Are you sure there are no fish or anything in here?' and she was like, 'no, dont worry'. So as She tried to help me climb out, I was trying to ask her for the afternoon off but she kept cutting me off, and she wouldnt let me climb out all the way- she was like doing all this crap and i was like, 'uh... just let me get out...' and then she was giving me some hot chocolate that she like put some saltwater in.. shes was like, 'you need to get the taste out' and I was like, 'What?!?!?!?' so I backed into a corner (like in the pool when I was little) and pulled myself out. and then there was something about this playground at AU being gone and I was thinking 'awwww man, i bet the photo students are going to miss that..' well thats all i remember for now.

brianaburke: hahahah this show is SO EFFING funny

iluvbellz07: ...yeah...and this who wants to be a millionaire is SO EFFING exciting!

iluvbellz07: lol

brianaburke: lol

brianaburke: is it regis?

iluvbellz07: yeah

iluvbellz07: i think he's sex for an old guy

brianaburke: eww

brianaburke: he all short

brianaburke: now George Clooney...

brianaburke: yeah baby

brianaburke: he is sexayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

brianaburke: whoooooooooo

iluvbellz07: ewww george has that nasty chin

brianaburke: what??

brianaburke: are you kidding me?

iluvbellz07: i dunno why everyone is so on him

iluvbellz07: i think jerry springer is pretty sex too

brianaburke: heather

brianaburke: you choose springer and regis...

brianaburke: over george??!??!?!

iluvbellz07: yep

iluvbellz07: lol

brianaburke: omg

brianaburke: i am copying and pasting this into a blog

iluvbellz07: lol ok!

brianaburke: that is whack

you be the judge...

[03 Jan 2008 | Thursday]

Owen Wilson and Tia Maggie’s Quesadillas So I dreamed soemthing about having the family over, And Tia Maggie was making her quesadillas and I was like 'yay! yummy!'.. an after that scene vic and I were at some guys house.. i dont know whow he was, my moms friend or something? but in my moms dream i seemed to know him pretty well. Me and vic were in the bathroom for some reason.. like doing our har or something but vic kept messing around and i was getting mad at him. After that we went into the living room, and the guy had bought 'RockStar', which I thought was Rock Band but actually the generic version. he didnt know what it was- how to play or set it up, so Vic and I did it. man was that boring?? the drums (my fav part of the game) was like one pad and i had to hit it over and over again... just hitting the pad. it didnt even sound right. and the game itself was totally lame- like there were these little monsters in it that looked like those cavity monsters you see in posters at the dentists office. I finally gave up and i was playing it off like i was trying to be polite.. I was like, 'uh... matthew can play... ' Matt was there too btw- vics friend. he had taken the train from his house to mine, which is kinda stupid because he only lives a few miles away. thats all i really remember... nothing special tonight... OH yeah Owen Wilson made an appearance.. like the guy whose house we were at was hosting some awards party.. and Owen came in looking like Hansel from Zoolander, and he apologized for something. i dont know what was up, but i remember the guy being embarrassed or something.

[22 Mar 2008 | Saturday]

Dream Current mood: awake because this one was WHACK!! So I dreamed that I was at Andrews (i think??? looked like MVA) and down where the ABC was in MV was this huge building- it was like an elementary school or something. A bunch of us (like my whole senior class) went down to sneak in because we were bored. We ended up sneaking into my brother’s reading class. We all sat down and acted like we were students but everyone soon fell asleep. I sat next to vic and he kept falling asleep so i kept waking him up. I guess i must’ve dozed off because when i looked, my class had left me- all my friends were gone! jerks.. anyways.. after class was out me, vic, and some guy i dont remember who he was, we all ran into Prof. Markovic- my Civ teacher. I think he was bored (this was Spring break u know) so he invited us all to his house- he wanted to show up something really cool but we werent allowd to tell anyone about it. It was this huge hanging tapestry or something- like scarlet with gold symbols and designs on it. It hung behind like 5 layers of curtain. He told us something about it being from the fourth century, and that it had some kind of power- like it was blessed or something. Like you touch it and wish for something and it comes true. Like a birthday wish, we werent supposed to tell anyone what we wished for- so just to be safe i wont say what I wished for lol. Thats all i really remember- there was a little bit more, but its too vague. okay well there it is. Random I know!

[13 Jun 2008 | Friday]

am I the only one who does this? it seems like sometimes when I look back on things in my life.. you know, embarrassing moments, sad moments, scary moments, good/funny moments, its like im watching myself in a movie.. you know, in third person. I just realized that.. am I the only one who does this

[07 Jul 2008 | Monday]

ok so i had another whack dream, that I was out with my family here in Tampa eating at clearwater beach (near the pier) after a day of flea marketing, and as we were leaving I saw Heather D just chillin in one of the booths, waiting for Tim and a couple of his friends to come back. I was like, 'Omg, heather! what are you doing here?' like she said something but i dont remember what it was.. and we were talking for a minute and then I was like 'heather, you STILL haven't told my why you're here!' and like, all I know is that she told me that she had already been there three days. I was SOO freakin pissed that she didnt call me. I was like, 'were you EVER going to call me or tell me you were here?' she kept changing the subject and I was like, 'whatever. I'm going home but im still pissed you didn't call me..' and thats all i remember. so yeah if any you guys come into tampa and dont call me, i WILL take it personally and never talk to you again. today i am going to get a job. i cant be in here anymore these people are driving me completely insane. p.s. im not really listening to the jo bros. that would be heather d, who actually likes lame music like '7 things' and that NKOTB song. Currently listening: Jonas Brothers By Jonas Brothers Release date: 2007-08-07

[18 May 2008 | Sunday]

$6.80/ gallon so I had this whack dream last night. I was still at Andrews (for some reason) and my Dad was in the Dominican Republic so I had the car even though I dont have a license. Tiff, Heather D, Heather M, Sarah and I wanted to go somewhere- I dont really know where, but me and Heather M were driving (2 seperate cars). I pulled into a McDonalds and was like, 'so do you guys wanna eat here? or do you want to go to Niles and find a random place downtown?' (the last day i was at AU we went to this random, fantastic mexican place in Niles...).. everyone was all for it but when I was about to leave Heather D and Sarah came up to my car and were like, 'um Heather M left... she went somewhere to study'.. and I was like, 'uh... okay... just cram in the back..'.. though I dont know why we had to cram seeing as my dads car seats 4 passengers and there were only 5 of us all.. no reason to take another car... but anyways... for some reason that messed up our plans and I was alittle lost.. I realized too that the gas light was on and i was trying to find some cheap gas somewhere but all the prices were like $6.80, and a couple didnt have prices posted because they were changing the numbers on the signs. I was angry, but not surprised. haha when I woke up all I could think of was 'Is gas REALLY $6.80 a gallon?'.. it made $4.09 look desirable. I had a white bike too... and I had to stop at AU (which was actually MVA) where I had to get my bike, drawing portfolio, drawing tablet, canvas pad, and roll of posters. I had to somehow get them into my trunk (dont know why it wouldnt fit) anyways... somehow I had to keep reminding myself that I had already finished at andrews- that my room was packed up and all ready at home... and then I was thinking that I should go pick victor up from MVA but then I was like 'no thats so stupid you're already in Florida'... like wtf? why are my dreams so retarded sometimes? lol. Ok there was another weird one For some reason I were at a port.. reminded me of a flea market, port canaveral, and Miami... there were bridges... and ocean... and cool tall buildings... gosh I wish I had a picture of it.. I was never good at describing with words... but it was really really cool.. and amazing... and nice... and pretty.. like we were up in the air.. and I got to explore and all.. reminds me of those nice clubs and rooms on a cruise except NOT tacky with plastic crystal centerpieces and all... it was all real.oh yeah I had a job there somewhere too... like I was going to start... (see im just remembering pieces of it).. well it was cool... VERY cool ok one more and there was another one... It was like, me, some random guy in his 30s (dont know who he was but for some reason he was supposed to protect me and this other person..) and this 'other person'.. I dont remember if it was my brother victor or a random little girl.. mmaybe it switched or something i dont know.. it was just very weird. anyways we were once again using my dads car and we were like trapped in China. yeah. weird. this might have actually led into my miami/port canaveral/flea market dream.. anyways we were stuck in china and we were making this plan to get out... like the guy was doing all the planning.. swear it was the guy from Back to the Future.. what was his name? you know, 'Marty'? i dont remember his real name.. anyways he reminded me of him..... our plan was to launch the car over the great wall... like fly over the border. we tried a few times but didnt make it- we just kept driving along the wall. Finally we tried one more time- driving off a building actually- and as we were flying off, the car somehow separated itself from us, and we went flying over a bunch of water (ocean) and thats when I saw the port. 'Marty' landed on a building.. on his feet of course, and I landed in the water, close to the port and near a ladder. Very convenient. anyways this is all very random but i had to get it down before I forgot. even as I write all this i am remembering dreams I had before- like something to do with an Airplane and trying to fly it... or driving a car through K-Mart... later bri

[26 May 2008 | Monday]

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